Better to be friends before dating updating cacti
It's important to remember that the criteria for friendship doesn't always line up to the criteria you have for someone you want to be in a relationship with."The best way to tell if you are better off as friends is [asking yourself] how much you respect their values," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. Meredith collects data to deliver the best content, services, and personalized digital ads.We partner with third party advertisers, who may use tracking technologies to collect information about your activity on sites and applications across devices, both on our sites and across the Internet.In a post for Fox News Magazine, Kim Olver, author of "Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner and Your Life," stresses the importance of friendship in romance: When I think of reasons people cheat, I often hear things like, ‘She never supports me.’ ‘He didn't want to spend time with me.’ ‘She doesn't understand me.’ ‘He never really listens when I talk to him.’ ‘I don't even think s/he likes me.’ ‘S/he is always complaining.’ Aren't all these statements really the opposite of the core of friendship?Think about how you are with your friends: You tell each other everything.Hopefully, since you are already good friends, you can have a frank and open conversation about expectations." And then be sure to keep that conversation going.
In contrast, being aloof and challenging made a person more attractive and desirable, but did not make them likeable.
Friendship is so important in a relationship that a 2012 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who valued the friendship part of their romantic relationship over other aspects of their relationship (like, for example, the sexual aspect) had more romantic and sexual success in both the short long term.
Valuing the friendship aspect more than the passionate aspects – or, in other words, the inevitably volatile aspects – means you will work harder to make sure your relationship remains stable, even when problems arise.
During my semester abroad in college, I went on a trip to Rome with my best guy friend, and I can guarantee you neither of us felt a spark or tried to make "love" happen, even when we were admiring the Colosseum together or eating spaghetti and drinking wine under the dim lights of romantic outdoor restaurants. If you're in the category of male/female friendship in which something more could definitely be on the horizon, know that taking that leap of faith could be the best decision you'll ever make.
It might feel scary, and you might fear that it'll ruin the connection you already have, but the best – and easiest – relationships truly grow from friendships.
"We can be friends with a lot of people with varying values, but it's totally different when you start dating them." Still, if they seem to tick all of the boxes and the chemistry is there, then it may be something to consider.