Dating without drana
Just because I don't want to pretend I'm busy and not text back for a few hours, when really my phone's been in my hand the whole time, doesn't mean I'm crazy. I'm not drama just because I know what I want, and it's not my fault you're a grown man who can't make a decision.
Dating both of these guys just made me realize that I want someone I feel totally comfortable with.
Lengthy phone calls, meetings, or exclamation-filled emails provide all the gory details.
Crisis-prone individuals don’t just like to live in a state of high alert, they seem to relish being called upon to fix all those problems that are causing the crisis.
I want to be with someone who respects my thoughts and emotions no matter how "intense" they may be.
I really don't think that's crazy or dramatic to ask for.
Call them “fixers." They may not be called upon to perform virtual CPRs on their company or friends, but they do seem to rise with unnatural enthusiasm to save the day.
Psychology’s take on the crisis-prone individual is that this combination of behaviors may represent one or more personality disorders.
He wasn't the last guy to say something like this either.
The only way I actually came to this conclusion was after dating a guy for almost a year and pretending that's who I was. This guy would sometimes text me out of nowhere after not talking to me for a couple of days.
In reality, I was texting my friends incessantly about if I should just text him first and checking his Tinder profile to see the last time he was active (aka the good, old days when Tinder let me stalk efficiently).
Specifically, according to a chapter in an edited academic book on crisis intervention, psychologists Gina Fusco and Arthur Freeman (2007) believe that people who become crisis-prone patients are in the so-called “Cluster B” of personality disorders, a designation meaning that they represent some combination of borderline, histrionic, psychopathic, and narcissistic trait designations.
The crisis-prone person, Fusco and Freeman propose, finds that “waking in the morning and having to cope with life’s daily events is fraught with potential crises and the resulting angst.”The Cluster B personality disorders represent people who seek if not revel in drama, become worked up over small problems, and tend to see themselves as the center of their all-too-frenetic universes.
He told me I was crazy to have those expectations in this society. I'm so sick of guys telling me I'm crazy or I'm "drama" just because I don't want to play these games anymore.