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“The brother introduced us,” she recalls, “and said, ‘Are you attracted to her? If so, do not under any circumstances move in together.’ Sam was short and fat, so I said, ‘No problem.’ ” He moved in, and they got along well—a little too well.“Within a month, everybody was saying, ‘You guys are so great together,’ ” Deirdre says. The allure of everybody saying that, combined with the pressure not to, led us to do it.” It didn’t bother her that he was unattractive; as any seasoned single girl knows, those guys get all the women, because women assume they won’t cheat.“It was kind of a slight when I’d say, ‘I think I want to sleep alone tonight,’ ” says Alex.“When you take away the whole ‘I don’t want to get on the subway and go all the way over’ conversation, saying you want to sleep alone sounds a little insensitive.” But at the same time, he liked the intensity.I have now been living with my roommate for nine months, and slowly we have grown closer as friends.
The connection wasn’t there—and what’s more, the place that he and Justine had once so enthusiastically cared for together had gotten messy, which depressed him.
“She was everything I wanted in a roommate,” he recalls. Thinking about what the house could become with Justine and I running the show was exciting to me.” One night, he went out to an Amsterdam Avenue bar with Justine and some friends.
They felt a mutual chemistry, and they split a cab home: “The night was unbelievably romantic and perfect.
A week after the “breakup,” Sam asked her, “So are we dating other people? The others began interviewing prospective replacements and got a call from a young painter named Justine.
” She said he could, but she didn’t want to hear about it: “He said, ‘But I want to share the details with you,’ and later I found out that he was dating someone in the same building.” Haunted by visions of Sam’s bringing the woman home while they were still sharing the apartment, Deirdre decided they should both give up their lease. Alex liked her as soon as he met her—she was slim and curvy and, more important, artistic.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at I know that when I made the decision to allow an extremely attractive stranger to live with me I was taking a dangerous step.