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Negging – one of the core principles of PUA – is a way of employing backhanded compliments to make a woman vulnerable.Once they’re feeling vulnerable, apparently they’ll be more inclined to have sex.Swami explains: ‘He stated women are like cats because they do not take orders, like shiny new things, can be tempted to chase you, and “rub against you and purr when they like you”.‘These metaphors are common in the pickup artist world where men are urged to ‘train’ women by rewarding positive and punishing negative behaviour.’ Now, although cats are great, and get to chill out and sleep all day, it’s quite clear that women aren’t pets that can be trained.Of all the manipulative ways to get someone into bed, pickup artistry has to be up at the top of the sleaziness scale.
Professor Swami says that as part of the philosophy, ‘women are presented as a different species and are seen as objects to be conquered through a strategic game of deception.’ However, Swami believes that ‘men and women approach potential romantic situations in very similar ways.
There are far fewer gender differences in attraction and relationship formation that we might like to believe.’ He believes that – although many of the men who follow PUA don’t realise it, ‘approaching the art of love as a war to be won means they are ultimately exerting a misogynistic desire to control women’s behaviour.’ Preach.
If you’ve ever watched a PUA online, you’ll notice their methods are anything but natural.
Professor Swami continues: ‘This concept dehumanises women, presenting them as biological animals that are ruled by their genetic programming.
‘It assumes they lack any sort of personal agency and that all women will respond in the same way to seduction techniques when in reality, of course, sexual attraction is much more complex.’ A big part of the overriding PUA philosophy is ‘kinaesthetics’ – sometimes shortened to kino.
‘They offer a game plan which, pickup artists claim, teaches men to quickly establish trust with a woman in order to get her into bed.