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Jordan definitely has a type, young, small and petite white women, the American Beauty Standard.I watched him lick his lips in an exaggerated way and he looked right at me and said: “She’s so beautiful, Paula. ”I just looked at him like he was crazy and said: “You can look but you don’t always have to make fucking comments on every woman’s body that you see.” As a result, Jordan stuck his neck out and stared at the barista at the cash register and said: “Shall we go inside? Jordan hit on the barista that he had been staring at on the outside of the shop while buying himself, Jenn and me coffee and tea. I tried to push his behavior out of my mind and justified it by convincing myself that it was ‘just normal guy stuff.’ I internally struggled between calling Jordan out for the rest of the trip or dismissing the blatant sexist behavior as an experience in TAt M’s progressive white space.Jordan repeatedly said during my stay in his apartment that women who would come out against him were “cooky activists” that they “wanted more views and name recognition” on the Internet which they got by simply mentioning his name.Honestly, Jordan’s following isn’t that big in comparison to other You Tubers. Trisha Paytas has a larger following than he does and all she does is eat and talk on camera about makeup, pop culture and sex toys.That’s when he said to me: “Paula, I feel like you’re trying to police what I say.”I replied: “I’m not trying to police what you say; I’m trying to make you question and think about what you say before you say it.I’m planting a seed.”Later before we started watching documentaries that night, I was tying in what I had said earlier to a conversation that we were having at that moment and said: “Remember when you said that I was trying to police what you were saying earlier…” at first he ignored me but I repeated myself and he mumbled: “I never said that to you.” That’s when I started to realize that Jordan was a gaslighter.
Honestly, I thought Jenn was somebody I could trust but I quickly learned that she was more concerned with her upward mobility in TYT and her strange relationship with Jordan than protecting me, a queer Puerto Rican woman.
I remember the news coverage playing in the background from either MSNBC or CNN, Jordan switched between those two channels during the day.
The reporting sparked a conversation between him and Ty that led into a conversation about Louis CK. I was sitting on the couch witnessing this conversation in silent disbelief.
Meanwhile, Jenn simply laughed at Jordan’s behavior.
She’s totally complicit in all of Jordan’s displays of toxic masculinity.